Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in jessica bush's LiveJournal:

Monday, October 22nd, 2001
4:18 pm	muhaha THE POWER IS YOURS! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 18th, 2001
10:51 pm	Yay nothin happened today...went to iss...wrote letters...fell asleep for like 2 or 3 hours...came home...ate and then slept. yay for me! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 17th, 2001
11:36 pm	Wahoo boy..did i have fun today. everyone keeps callin me slugger. and i havent had so many people talk to me all at once before. im talkin to aj right now so im gonna go Current Mood: accomplished (Comment on this)
Monday, October 15th, 2001
11:57 pm	i dont know im crying and i dont know why. im so depressed. i try to talk to jimmy. someday i may even tell him my problem....if he would just stop making fun of me for ONE SECOND!!! Geez what the hell is wrong with me, i started crying cuz he called me something that i dont even remember that has the word ass in it. I should be used to it by now. Guess im not. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 14th, 2001
10:58 pm	ive been pissed since the end of time Welp tomorrow I get rid of all the anger. Itll be great. Stephanie will be the 1st example and even maybe the last. Im sick of all the shit that people do. I hate them all. Fuck you all. And for the people I love and adore, you know who you are. cough cough... ( AJ, Josh, Jimmy ) wink wink ( Lynn, Melissa, Christina, Veronica, Misty, Julie ) Current Mood: enraged Current Music: DMX- We Right Here (Comment on this)
2:07 am	everyone hates me i feel as if im useless. i do nothing. i dont love. i dont hate (besides stephanie) i feel nothing. im confused about life. why am i still alive? why dont i end it all? i hope i get better. i dont know what the hells wrong with me. im a lil odd i know. do you scare you? well you scare me. everyone does. i dont know anyone any more. who are my friends? do i even have any? what if the people who i think are my friends really arent and talk shit about me and hate me? this has happened before, several times before. you all have destroyed me. Current Mood: numb (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 1st, 2001
2:57 pm	Day not so messed up so far. This morning I was awakened by one of my best friends Veronica. Her mom has gone through her stuff again...and found her poems. Her mom bitched...Veronica bitched....it was all good. Veronica stood up to her mom for the first time in her whole life! I hope it all goes swell Veronica and good luck! I got my tattoo finally. Yes oh yes, its a fairy. It kicks so much ass! And oh fuck did it hurt like the dickens...but I lived throught it (an hour in a half of it though) I hate me life. At this piont in time, its it rock botttom (well sorta). The problem is...is that I didnt do a thing to screw it up Ive finally realized. It better all turn out god damnit. I may go to the movies tomorrow. If everything works out Ill go with th eone person I should be going with. If not, Im going with Steven. Im ending this now and Im going to make tons-o-phone calls. Current Mood: full Current Music: "Pardon Me" by Incubus (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:58 am	Im such a stupid Bitch Id rather not get into my hugest problem ever but Ive fucked up everything just like I always do. Im just a big fuck up and I stupid bitch. I wish I never had feelings. I wanna move away from everyone...I dont wanna hurt you all. Ive done that enough to people. The thing that happened isnt exactly my fault though. I keep on hearing that exsept from the one person that it would mean the most from. So there for...I am an ass. I wrote a poem for that person to tell then how I really feel. And this is it.... "In the end, Im all alone. All the shit I have done. They were so wrong. I never ment for you to cry. I never ment for our love...It all to die. I cant take away. Whats done is done. The pain. I wish I could kill the shit Ive done. Myself. No one can. None. In my dreams, Im alive. But in reality, Ive died. Change. I cant. Rearrange. I cant. I love you so much. You may not realize. I would even sacrifice. My life. You mean the world to me. All from the firery sky to the dark blue sea. Everything, I would give. All to you. And just to relive the times of us. Ive fucked up. I know. Im a fuck up. I know. Please dont be unhappy with I. Its just me. Im not worth your time. I dont wanna lie. But I love you more than anything. And nothing can ever change my mind" Current Mood: Gone Insane Current Music: "End of the World" by COLD (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 26th, 2001
12:24 am	OHIO! Wahoo!!! Im leaving for Ohio in like 6 hours. YAY! Im going to have a blast. Im getting my tatoo there too on Friday. My realy kick ass uncle is probably takin me to have it done. Im so excited and I cant wait! I saw Britney Stuck up her ass today! I rule! She wouldnt even talk to me and I said shit to her...it was great. I took some sea monkeys to town today too. They had tons-o-fun Im sure. And Steven was in town today too. He said my hair looked really really good and he liked it. Wahoo!!! Jimmy is in Sommersville right now...probably smoking all the pot he can since his uncle actaully lets him. Well good for him. Hope hes having fun I guess. Well im a leavin cuz Steven and Brett are here to talk to. Wahoo Ohio! ! Current Mood: excited Current Music: Stone Temple Pilots "Plush" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
12:42 am	Wahoo great days! Im really bored but I have had a great day!Nothing happened....Ive stop caring for anything and everything. Everything is great and if you tell me other wise then you can just fuck offf! I got my hair dyed today. Its black cherry! It kicks so much ass! And I got it cut too. Its really cute! Steven is finally back from the beach! Wahoo...Ive missed him. He has brought me back tons-o-sea-shells abd sand. AWwwwww isnt that sweet! Im leaving for Ohio Thursday and coming home Saturday. Im going to have a kick ass time. I plan on getting my tatoo then. Its gonna be great, Im getting a fairy. Its so pretty! Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: Miss Cleo is on Tv...dear god save me! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 24th, 2001
3:19 am	Jimmy story revealed!! *gasp Welp I finally talked to Jimmy about the whole thing he said about "Dont wanna make Jessica mad cuz Im wanting to get a piece" or what not. He claimed he never said it for the longest time. Then he talked to the guy who told me about it and now hes not sure if he said it or not. Everything is crazy. Now I think Jimmys pissed at me...and I HAVE NO CLUE WHY!!! He just wont answer my phone calls or anything. I should be the one who is pissed and for some reason...I was but Im not really anymore. I DONT CARE! I just want my friend back! But no..i doubt Jimmy is ever going to talk to me again and I didnt do a fucking thing! This happened last year to me too. I had loose one of my best friends...actually two. And now Im loosing another this year. My life is just a living hell. But thats just the way things go with me I guess. But things arent so bad...Ive made some new friends this summer but its not the same. I just wanna crawl in a fuckin lava pit and sleep for fuckin ever! I went white water rafting yesterday. It was great fun...look look....im not dead! (unfortunatlly). The rapids just would not take my life away. Gee what the hell were they thinkin! Damn crazy rapids. I got really sun burt. My legs almost got burnt off...really. But I had fun for once in my life. I had to paddle the god damn raft 15 frickin miles. And I was really shocked this morning, my arms were not hurting or anything from the paddlen. Wahoo! Retta's party is gonna be great fun! Im going to get drunk off my fuckin ass! Ill forget about you all for just hours...dont hate I...I wanna die! Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: "Sometimes" By: "Ours" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 19th, 2001
3:25 pm	Guys are Fuckin DickHeads!!! Several months ago I had broken up with this guy I really liked. Every since then, I have missed him as a boy friend figure. We were/are still friends (the kind with benefits though). Just lately Ive been thinking of asking him, "hey when are we getting back together?" Until now and this is why.... I was on line talking to a friend from school. Every since I started dating Jimmy (the guy I still like and even still now today) He was none stop making fun of my friend Melissa. He started this whole stupid thing to where people were calling her Broom Stick Melissa. (dont ask for deatails...its a long story) Well one day in gym class a whole group of guys were yell "Broom Stick Melissa" I got really pissed off not just at the guys but at Jimmy cuz Melissa is one of my best friends. Well Jimmy went over there and told them to stop (he claimed he had anyways and he said thats all he had to say for them to stop too) Well my friend (the one I talked to on line who was part of the group of guys yelling such things as Broom Stick) Told me exactly what Jimmy had said. Jimmy told them .... " Hey stop yelling that at Melissa cuz I dont wanna make Jessica made cuz Im trying to get a piece" WHAT THE FUCK!!!! This is why I am so pissed right now. I never thought that Jimmy would ever say anything like that. And even if he was just trying to be all "big" in front of the guys and didnt mean anything by it....still....It makes me look like an ass and like he completely controls me! WHY ARE MOST GUYS DICKHEADS!!! (Comment on this)